I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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