I just saw a hot homeless man
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize