If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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