Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
someone owes me an orgasm
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
