I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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