It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
