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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
