So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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