Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
