dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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