i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
