we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
