yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
