dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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