I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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