Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
