So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
