pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
