We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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