Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
That's how pantless uber rides happen
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
