its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize