i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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