You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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