My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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