I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
3 2 1 whiskey
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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