i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
