Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
