nut hugger
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
