U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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