dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
