this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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