You just made me feel so damn special
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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