You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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