In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
