Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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