is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
