took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize