am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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