if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
