went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
