I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
