I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
