he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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