Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
