it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
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The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
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You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize