Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
