u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
