she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
