Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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