Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You've changed since you got that strap on
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
