I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
