One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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