Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
