i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize