you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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