If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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