Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize