just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
