yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
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my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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