Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
