if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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