I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
