No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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