did you get engaged???
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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