we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
