It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
