One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize