dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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