i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
