Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
