People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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